Soccer Mom???? Really?!!!!

There is nothing more satisfying than a coach asking if your daughter will be at every game through the season and to please have her show up on the games for the tournament (that I had no clue would happen). Nothing more disappointing than knowing you can’t be there for the one game she would want to be there for. Sigh.

Smarts, needs to go up against this team. For three seasons she has and they have a boy (manboy) who is so much older than the other kids and Smarts is getting ready and IS ready to finally take him but yet we won’t be there for that game.  Talk about a let down for Smarts.  Double sigh.

I am so Fucking Scared…

My mother might be going into the hospital because they think her feeling bad is psychosomatic.  This is literally what I have to look forward to in life.  My mom was diagnosed as manic-depressive when I was twelve; we all know that means Bipolar Disorder now.  My mother is fucking crazy, y’all.  She once made me try to cut my father with a knife.  She hates me and well frankly everyone.

Please I pray…to not be like her.  Please tell me that I am okay in my brain, that my mind will always be better than that.

Please I pray that you all do not hate me.


I Crave the Mundane

So, by this time in my mania I’m running on 4 hours of sleep and have been up since 4 am.  It’s now 9 pm.  I’m tired but wide awake at the same time, my head and ears are buzzing, my anxiety and panic are sky-high.  I feel out of control, impulsive, scared.  The good news is my house is clean and tomorrow I’ll do the laundry.  The bad news…shit, I’m manic.

So with that I’m going to blog about mundane things in my life, I crave the mundane and non chaos at this point.  I just want things to be normal.

Smarts, (that’s the 11-year-old girl) received her second straight A honor roll for this quarter.  She’s now in Middle School, which freaked me out more than her and still does.  She’s playing the flute (and is actually pretty darn good) but missed her first recital in December because she came down with the flu.  By the way, Tamiflu worked wonders for her BUT it’s expensive as hell.  Unfortunately since she missed the first recital she might not get to try out for the All-State Band but we’ll see.  I’m extremely proud of the hard work she’s doing in school.  She goes above and beyond what is expected of her every single day.  Wonderful kid.

Funny, (that’s the 7-year-old boy) has received his first reading award which was a feat all in its own since he almost didn’t pass the first grade last year because he struggles with reading and writing.  He’s almost caught up to his classmates now in reading.  He still hates writing though and struggles everyday with wanting to do it.  He can build a world like no other in Minecraft though, yes at the age of 7.  He’s the gamer of the family.  He’s calm, compassionate, funny as heck, and just a joy for anyone who comes in contact with him.  You all would love him, I know I do.  Wonderful kid.

What else mundane?  Hmmmm.

Soccer season starts in two weeks which means I need to get my game face on.  It takes a lot to be part of the ‘good ol’ girls’ club to get to have conversations or make some sort of acquaintances at the games.  It’s hard to get into the ‘in’ crowd around here.  I’m just not like them and to be honest, I don’t really want to be a part of the club but my kids enjoy these people’s kids so I try to do my part.  I love watching my kids play soccer though, one of my favorite things to do.

And finally, what am I reading?  A huge book that I’ve been pleasantly surprised by, I’m quite enjoying it.  It’s called Kane and Abel.  Here’s an excerpt from it:

Born on the same day near the turn of the century on opposite sides of the world, both men are brought together by fate and the quest of a dream. These two men — ambitious, powerful, ruthless — are locked in a relentless struggle to build an empire, fueled by their all-consuming hatred. Over 60 years and three generations, through war, marriage, fortune, and disaster, Kane and Abel battle for the success and triumph that only one man can have.

You can get the book probably at your local library, of course your local book shop, and amazon by clicking here.

I think that’s about as mundane as you can get.  I crave the mundane.