I’ll Be Honest, I’m Frustrated

Who knew people who are having issues with mental health are so arrogant?  No seriously, who knew?

I’m going to call him Fred,  I’ve never met a Fred so I’m calling him that.  Fred needs a lot of help, I’m doing my best to be patient and point him in the right direction.  I want to slam my head in a door at this point.  If I hear ‘I’m not going to kill myself over this…’ one more damn time….

See Fred just discovered mental illness.  Fred has decided that he thinks the sentence “I’m not suicidal but…” is normal.  I’m not one for normal but c’mon man!  Damn you listen to me!

I’ve given all my links, phone numbers and even called for a well check up for him.  Hands up,  I’ve got nothing else.  I continue to listen and be gentle but damn it man,  fuck.  I can only stay up for so many nights in a row.

I’m selfish.

Who knew people were this much trouble?  No seriously, who knew?

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18 Years Ago

18 years ago I gave birth to a child that was not alive.  I hurt every year on this day.  Physically and emotionally.  If you really know me then you know I love my kids.  So damn much.

Sigh.

Thank heavens I was able to let that out just now ,because I thought my chest was gonna explode.  I don’t have anyone I can talk about things like that to.

Wish me luck today y’all.

Soccer Mom???? Really?!!!!

There is nothing more satisfying than a coach asking if your daughter will be at every game through the season and to please have her show up on the games for the tournament (that I had no clue would happen). Nothing more disappointing than knowing you can’t be there for the one game she would want to be there for. Sigh.

Smarts, needs to go up against this team. For three seasons she has and they have a boy (manboy) who is so much older than the other kids and Smarts is getting ready and IS ready to finally take him but yet we won’t be there for that game.  Talk about a let down for Smarts.  Double sigh.