I’ll Be Honest, I’m Frustrated

Who knew people who are having issues with mental health are so arrogant?  No seriously, who knew?

I’m going to call him Fred,  I’ve never met a Fred so I’m calling him that.  Fred needs a lot of help, I’m doing my best to be patient and point him in the right direction.  I want to slam my head in a door at this point.  If I hear ‘I’m not going to kill myself over this…’ one more damn time….

See Fred just discovered mental illness.  Fred has decided that he thinks the sentence “I’m not suicidal but…” is normal.  I’m not one for normal but c’mon man!  Damn you listen to me!

I’ve given all my links, phone numbers and even called for a well check up for him.  Hands up,  I’ve got nothing else.  I continue to listen and be gentle but damn it man,  fuck.  I can only stay up for so many nights in a row.

I’m selfish.

Who knew people were this much trouble?  No seriously, who knew?

I am so Fucking Scared…

My mother might be going into the hospital because they think her feeling bad is psychosomatic.  This is literally what I have to look forward to in life.  My mom was diagnosed as manic-depressive when I was twelve; we all know that means Bipolar Disorder now.  My mother is fucking crazy, y’all.  She once made me try to cut my father with a knife.  She hates me and well frankly everyone.

Please I pray…to not be like her.  Please tell me that I am okay in my brain, that my mind will always be better than that.

Please I pray that you all do not hate me.

 

“Mind Over Matter” & Mental Illness…

Nathan Feiles who writes a blog over at PsychCentral put together a list of 12 Things to do to Get Us Motivated When Depressed; maybe doing those things can help relieve depression or even jolt us out of it.

Here’s an excerpt:

Obviously, actively doing anything doesn’t sound so desirable when feeling depressed, let alone confronting our depressive urges head-on. While it’s important to give depressive symptoms their attention and get to understand and learn about what’s underlying the depressive episode, the concept of “mind over matter” can help create motivation when depressed. I have seen evidence with many people that creating a change in mindset with small, manageable, behavioral steps can change a whole experience of depression. For some it’s brought their symptoms entirely into remission. This doesn’t replace taking the steps to learn more about what’s causing the episodes, but these steps can help us move on with our lives while we continue to work on the underlying issues.

Source: PsychCentral.com

Now my question for all of you is, how do you feel about the ‘mind over matter’ saying when it comes to mental illness?  I feel like while it’s positive to get yourself doing something, it makes our illnesses seem like we should just get over it and live life and quite simply it’s not that simple.  I do want to add though that everything that Nathan suggests in this article should be at least tried 3 times, seriously.  We do need to try something when nothing else seems to be working.  Now your turn, weigh in.

 

Lets Discuss Mental Illness NOW

Lets discuss it and not place stigma anywhere near it any longer but lets be serious the stigma just went up 100 fold because of 12-14-2012.  So many Moms now think that if you have a mental illness of any kind, you are going to hurt their children.  I know this because I’m a Mom, who took her kids to the bus stops today.  Two different bus stops, two different types of Moms and all the same opinion.  Of course none of them know I have a serious mental illness and I definitely won’t be talking with them about it now.  And by the way the all decide to blame video games for what just happened in that school.

Wake up call people…video games DID NOT do this…untreated, no help out there, mental illness did.

Look recently I looked into getting help through my state for mental illness because I am in a crisis mode.  After looking into it and realizing all the red tape I have to go through and still won’t get help I’ve decided it’s just in my best interest to seek help by paying 425 dollars an hour, YUP you heard that right; 425 dollars an hour to get help by myself.  Talk about overwhelming.

It’s time to make a change…it’s time to start regulating doctors so payments do not have to be that high and people that are in crisis mode can get help and it’s time to deal with the bulshit red tape that we have to go through to get the much needed help.

That’s all I have…please…please…PLEASE make it possible to get help here in the USA for mental illness.

My thoughts will be with many this holiday season as they try to get though this time of the year.

I am Helpless!

 

I throw my hands up in the air.  I am helpless.  My name is Countess Bats and I am an alcoholic.and I have a mental disorder called Bipolar.  I gave up my program many months ago,  I gave up two different programs many months ago, hell…maybe even three!

Look…if you are here seeking sobriety, wisdom, or sanity…leave now because I don’t have any of those.  I lost them when I relapsed.  That’s the normal for me;  I am the Countess of Relapse.

I am completely Helpless and I can guarantee that I will lose everything because of alcohol and Bipolar Disorder.  I can guarantee that unless I seek help, unless I want help…I will lose everything.

Look…if you have Googled alcoholism and/or bipolar disorder then maybe you need to think about yourself ; or the loved one you opened Google for.

Where do I send you to? AA or WFS.  Please go.