I’ll Be Honest, I’m Frustrated

Who knew people who are having issues with mental health are so arrogant?  No seriously, who knew?

I’m going to call him Fred,  I’ve never met a Fred so I’m calling him that.  Fred needs a lot of help, I’m doing my best to be patient and point him in the right direction.  I want to slam my head in a door at this point.  If I hear ‘I’m not going to kill myself over this…’ one more damn time….

See Fred just discovered mental illness.  Fred has decided that he thinks the sentence “I’m not suicidal but…” is normal.  I’m not one for normal but c’mon man!  Damn you listen to me!

I’ve given all my links, phone numbers and even called for a well check up for him.  Hands up,  I’ve got nothing else.  I continue to listen and be gentle but damn it man,  fuck.  I can only stay up for so many nights in a row.

I’m selfish.

Who knew people were this much trouble?  No seriously, who knew?

I’ll Be Honest ~ Keep It Simple Saturday

I’m having issues with sobriety, not that any of you would have any reason to think other than that.

I’ll also be honest and say, I’m a good person.  I hate alcoholism.  I hate addiction. I hate watching everyone go through it, including loved ones that have to deal with people like myself.

Honestly, people like myself die from their addictions.  It’s a fact.  I have to deal with that on a daily basis but yet I don’t do anything about it.  I will die of active alcoholism.

You know what I want?  I don’t want to cure MY alcoholism or mental illness, I want to touch someone else enough to help them stay sober or alive.  To be honest, that’s all I want in life.

Just to help one person to stay alive…

Keep It Simple Saturday

Seeing as how it’s 12:14 am, I’ll go ahead and post my Saturday post and you all can wake up to it.  Lovely right?

It’s important everyday to practice discipline even on our days off. Discipline needs to remain simple for some of us like waking, eating, or going to bed at the same time everyday even on our days off. It also means to learn to say fuck it when you’ve realized you have put too much on your plate for the day.

Today, I’m remaining vigilant in my discipline and am simply going to live happily knowing that I am doing the right thing.

What is simple about your Saturday?

Keep It Simple Saturday

Hello.  My name is Bats and I’m a bipolarized alcoholic.  And no bipolarized is not a real word, I own it and have rights to it. HA! No really but it’s hard to start a post out like that.

I hate being Bipolar and I hate being an alcoholic.

I hate loving alcohol more than anything else in the world.

I hate the fact that every couple weeks I feel manic, uncomfortable, crazy.

I hate the fact that after feeling manic, I hate myself so much that I think the world would be better without me.

I hate the fact that I self medicate with alcohol.

I love the fact that I can admit all of this.

I love the fact that I have this website where I can admit this at.

I love the fact that (to a point) I am safe here.

I am GRATEFUL for little things; like a cup of decaffeinated coffee or a sigh from my dog.

I am GRATEFUL for the moon because it makes me feel comfortable.

I am GRATEFUL because this post can be called Keep It Simple Saturday and there was nothing simple about it.  I guess that actually means I am GRATEFUL for tolerance.