5 Months (Take 2)

I have 5 months sober today! YAY!

Keep It Simple Saturday

Good Frosty Morning!   A want, no need a simple day right now and thank you so much for Simple Saturday’s in my world.  Today I want to mention I am just about 5 months into another sober stunt, and I wouldn’t have been able to stay sober this long without the love and confidence my daughter gives me.  Yesterday after a fabulous dinner that my husband was able to stay home to have with us, she turned to us and said,  “Did you smoke today?”  We each replied with no and took our pats on our backs from her.  While I was doing the dishes and everyone was off digesting their food, which means waiting for Mom to come up with desert, I thought about the question she asked me and once again she surprised me with her knowledge, understanding, and compassion about situations with addiction.  Look at the question again, she didn’t ask “have you smoked, or are going to smoke, have you quit for good?”  She asked, Did you smoke TODAY?  It floored me when I realized just how much she has been listening to me about addictions, she knows that we only live for One Day At A Time, atleast in that respect. 

I wish I could be as intelligent as my 8 year old daughter is.  I wish more people could be as intelligent and compassionate as my 8 year old daughter.  Man, I love that girl.

It’s Friday & I’m Answering Willowbatel

Well since Willowbatel ( ) has so many questions that “my avid readers” want answers to then I am going to make it my Friday post this week.

 Is your husband still working?

Yes, yes he is.  We are coming into winter here which means sales slow down tremendously.  Normally we live off our savings throughout the winter but this year, there are no savings so we are just buying time before the bank decides when they want to foreclose.  It seems bill collectors don’t believe you when you say you have no money…”oh well borrow it!”  more than one has suggested this, yesterday I responded to this with…”hey Tonya, can I borrow some money?”  She didn’t find it as humorous as I did.  Apparently this is no joking matter and I responded, “how would you like me to deal with the matter then, Tonya?  You guys call me 5 times every night between 6pm and 8pm, so after explaining to your all night after night that I HAVE NO MONEY, I’ve decided that the calls are in fact humorous.”  and ended the call with “speak with you tomorrow Tonya.”  Alright first off, I KNOW it’s not a laughing matter but this far into it I have to do something other than cry and have hissy fits.  I DO NOT want my kids to know how bad it is especially with Santa Claus coming is right around the corner.

 Did you finally quit smoking?

Well at the moment I am chewing on a nice stick of nicotine flavored gum.  It turns out when you don’t have any money to buy them, then well you don’t have any money to buy them, hence you don’t smoke. 

Did your phone solicitor job go anywhere after that first paycheck?

Ahhhhhhhhhh the scam of a lifetime.  Ya it went somewhere…a complaint to Consumer Affairs, The Better Business Bureau, and The Wage and Labor Board.  I ended up being paid a grand total of $74 for 80 hours of work.  That sucked and when I had gotten the job I was so excited that I would finally have some money coming in but apparently my time is worth not even a whole dollar an hour.  Blah.  So now I’m still looking, and pretty much that’s what everyone in my community is doing.  We are all bankrupt including the Town.

Your avid readers want to know. (wow you’re really going to hate me for writing that)

Nah, I don’t hate you.  It’s great for the head to know you have avid readers.

So let’s see what’s new?  Hmmmmmmmmmm  We have a leaking water line that’s going to cost us about $2000 to fix, so I decided that this was something we should use our emergency credit card for.  Well it turns out that Credit Card company decided we were too much of a liability and snagged our credit from us, we have had this credit card for 9 years!  So the water line will continue to leak, we’ll continue getting huge water bills and not be able to pay them, so they’ll turn our water off.  Pretty much that’s all that is new, financial crap that haunts our every hour.  I so can not wait for 2010, because it definitely has to be better than 2009!

No Excuses From Me This Time

Sorry everyone for my MIA lately.  I don’t want to give an excuse for that, I’m trying to stop making so many excuse in my life and just settle for what it is.  I didn’t blog, as simple as that and it’s inexcusable when you have a blog of this caliber.  So pretty I’m sorry and lets move on.  I do have to thank all of you who checked here daily and sent me healthy vibes to help me get through this okay.

My life is in shambles;  what else is new, right?  I had heard a rumor that we are coming out of the recession…who started such a stupid rumor?  The economy has beat us down.  I have a total of $166 and our second mortgage wants 81 of that.  Ummmmmmmm ya right.  I have no clue how we are going to make it through the winter, hell I don’t know how we are going to make it through another month.  So whomever decided to pass around such a stupid rumor about our lives financially, well shut up!

So I am just about out of medication again, no health insurance again, which means soon I’ll be having an emotional breakdown.  I’m not looking forward to it.  It’s fall, it’s cold, I’m grumpy, and I want a damn beer, a shot of vodka or two, and a pack of cigarettes!  Now damn it, NOW!

I wish I could just sleep everything away.

Testing My Sobriety

As you can see and I’m sure you knew anyway, I’m okay even though I had to go to that party.  Way too much alcohol!  I didn’t drink but I can tell you that about 30 times that day I almost did.  It’s uncomfortable being the sober person, the only sober person at a function.  I made sure we left though before all the young women got naked and the men embarressed themselves.  I did have a major panic episode that night before going to bed thinking who was driving all those kids home, oh jesus h christ on a candle stick!  My husband had one beer and I had a major caffiene buzz from the party.  Am I glad I went?  No.  Do I want to do it again? No.  But alas there is a Christmas party coming up.  Blah.  How ever I did enjoy the part where they give away prizes,   and this year they included all the kids and they had their own name drawing and at first we were all thinking this is a terrible idea because there were 10 prizes but 12 kids but somehow it ended up being 10 kids but the best part was my hubby winning the grand prizes of a fabulous amount of money!!!  Phew that means the mortgage can get paid, relief there on that avenue.

So all in all not really my cup of tea but I lived through it with minimal amount of pain.