In Which She Screamed HI!!!!


Obviously The Countess has been gone and now she’s back for right now.  Howdy.

I’ve been there and here, everywhere.  I’ve done this, that, and stuff.  I’m still an Alcoholic and Bipolar.  I still love green, bats, Jason Statham, and coffee.  I’m a little more sarcastic and a little less caring.  I’m the woman in a room with the keg nodding like I give a shit.


I now have a 16 year old daughter who actually digs me (tell her I said digs, she’ll love that) and an 11 year old boy who is challenged with mental illness issues.  It’s sweet to see him trying so hard.  I feel for him to feel that way at 11.  I’m 42 and I’m fucked, he’s 11 and hopeful.

Jason Statham hasn’t noticed me and Bayern Munich is losing their shit (get it together guys), I now have an Nespresso and am wired, always.


I’m pissy and happy, at the same time.

I’m Countess Bats.  I’m doing pretty ummmm normal.

And all of that was insignificant information so Hi.




I’ll Be Honest, I’m Frustrated

Who knew people who are having issues with mental health are so arrogant?  No seriously, who knew?

I’m going to call him Fred,  I’ve never met a Fred so I’m calling him that.  Fred needs a lot of help, I’m doing my best to be patient and point him in the right direction.  I want to slam my head in a door at this point.  If I hear ‘I’m not going to kill myself over this…’ one more damn time….

See Fred just discovered mental illness.  Fred has decided that he thinks the sentence “I’m not suicidal but…” is normal.  I’m not one for normal but c’mon man!  Damn you listen to me!

I’ve given all my links, phone numbers and even called for a well check up for him.  Hands up,  I’ve got nothing else.  I continue to listen and be gentle but damn it man,  fuck.  I can only stay up for so many nights in a row.

I’m selfish.

Who knew people were this much trouble?  No seriously, who knew?

18 Years Ago

18 years ago I gave birth to a child that was not alive.  I hurt every year on this day.  Physically and emotionally.  If you really know me then you know I love my kids.  So damn much.


Thank heavens I was able to let that out just now ,because I thought my chest was gonna explode.  I don’t have anyone I can talk about things like that to.

Wish me luck today y’all.