So here’s a Monday for ya….I’m what people like to call some bodies personal assistant. I work remotely, from home. It’s a perfect job for somebody who wants to be a SAHM or is just bat shit crazy like me. I pretty much enjoy my job except on days like today.
So I open my boss’s email like I do everyday, even on Saturdays and Sundays, even on holidays like Christmas Eve or New Year’s Day. That’s just me, I want to know what I need to be doing before it needs to be done, or before someone mentions I need to be doing it. Anyway, I open her email and scan the inbox, lo and behold she’s hiring someone else for a fraction of a cost and IT’S MY JOB. Do you think having this conversation should have happened with another email address so the person who you are about to wreck their life doesn’t have to find out until you tell them??? Possibly would that have been the polite thing to do??? The right thing to do??? I don’t get paid that much but it was paying my Shrink bill.
So, I’m sitting here waiting on a phone call and blogging. HA! That’ll stick it to her, at least in my mind.
What…a…bitchy…thing…to do on a Monday.
So this is why people hate Mondays, right?
I received a call VERY early this morning that my job is in jeopardy. You’ll have to pardon me for being very vague at this point about it because I’ve been instructed not to discuss it and even though I’m anonymous online, I can not take the chance that someone run by this and make it that much worst for me.
We always listen to the jobs report and when it’s bad, that’s straight forward to us and although crushing, we pretty much expect it at this point in the game with the American economy. However when we pay attention to it and the numbers look good, or at least not horrible and they represent that we added jobs, we tend to not think that with every job added, someones was taken away.
It’s very hard to explain what my job is so I won’t try but what I will tell you is that if the company feels your job isn’t worth the amount you get paid, then there is no room for negotiation and you pretty much are shit out of luck.
I was told this morning that I probably am shit out of luck.
I often think to my self, “Bats, imagine what you could do if you had confidence in yourself?” I mean seriously if I had confidence and not the liquid kind, I would be so much more than what I am now. I hold myself back in every way possible because I lack just confidence in myself.
One of my top fears is public speaking. I’m actually terrified to the point of hiding in a bathroom or closet because of it. Seriously. I need to take a business course at a local college but I’m currently postponing signing up for it because I know that they will make me do Power Point presentations and I have nightmares about it and work myself up into a frenzy (panic) that I just can not speak up in front of a group of people, no matter how small. I know, I know, I’m being stupid, I’m being ridiculous, I’m being scared little kid about this. I’m letting my fear run and ruin my life. If I take this course it could mean I make more money, it could mean I get more out of what I guess is consider my career but yet I just can not overcome this….fear, this….confidence problem. But yet I HAVE to take this course, sober.
Do you have a fear that you feel is ruining your life? Are you trying to overcome it? How ? Or how will you try to overcome it?
Quite honestly there’s nothing simple about my Saturday and quite honestly I’m suppose to be working right now so shhhhh don’t tell anyone I’m here or else I’ll get a lecture of wasting my time, not being productive and how a well oiled ship can’t run without the oil. While I love my work, I’m overwhelmed. I’ve no time for anything else and it’s about to blow up since my boss is leaving the country for a cruise. I was told it was only going to be for a week but nope I found out that it’s actually two weeks and what does he do before he leaves? He creates utter chaos, he starts new contracts, knowing that he needs to be around to complete them; only he won’t be around to complete them and well ummmm clients galore are going to be counting on me to finish (clean up) his work. I’m tired, I need to do laundry, grocery shop, and hey I wouldn’t mind just a simple Saturday but it’s not going to happen. I need to get back to work. Blah.