I spoke with my Dad a couple times this week. Each time I spoke with him the conversation turns to him wanting his kids to understand that they don’t have to die like him. Heart disease is something that runs rabid in his family, his Dad died at 45 of it so for him to go out like this is taking an emotional toll on him. I try to just listen with openness and sincerity. “Bats, I’ve already defined my life. This is the way I’m going out, I’m dying but you and your brothers don’t have to.” In our family I’m probably the most healthiest and well I’m an alcoholic, Bipolar, and addicted to everything under the sun, so what does that tell you? “Bats, I’m feeling weaker everyday. Everyday I feel it but I’m trying.” I always remember these little blurbs my Dad says as I talk with him, each one holds it’s meaning so defined in it.
He’s in the final stages of his disease and he’s thinking maybe another 6 months. I know I need to be figuring out my goodbye to him but I just don’t know how. I mean how do you say goodbye to someone who has been there for you for 34 years? How do you say goodbye to someone whom has loved you unconditionally for 34 years? How do define that last moment?
On another note this morning my daughter brought home paperwork from her school of a fund drive they are doing with The American Heart Association for Heart Disease. (Irony at it’s best again, you think?) We are very excited to campaign for this wonderful cause. It’s called Hoops for Hearts and I haven’t done any research on it yet so haven’t posted a link here but definately be looking for it in the weeks to come. We are excited to raise money for a cause so people like my Dad don’t have to die of this disease. It is a horrible slow death and I can’t wait to get a plan going on how we are going to tackle this. It’s definately going to be some posting about it on here. 🙂