I’m tired. I have a migraine. I want to sleep for a week. I’m at the end of a two day manic episode and I need to decompose. There is nothing even remotely Simple about this Saturday. Blah. I need a drink, no scratch that I WANT a drink. As a matter of fact I would snatch a drink out of a priest hands at this point in the night. Did I say Blah?
Sometimes we all need a little Raggae in our lives.
YAY! I go for the training class on Friday, thankfully this will be the only time I will have to go into the office since it is 2 hours away from me and I have to be there at 8am which means I’ll have to get up at 4 to get everyone up, eaten and ready to go. I’m excited, kind of; my hubby on the other hand said he’ll be excited when he sees a paycheck. What a nut he’s being. So hopefully this job will produce me some money to either give to the bank for the house or to actually buy groceries, oh hey gas in the Jeep for my hubby would be great!
Anyway this is pretty much the jist of it. I’m going to telemarket from home in the evening from 6-10pm for the National Childrens Hospital here in MD. All the job is, calling people asking them if they have any donations that the drivers could pick up, if yes than great! If no, not a big deal maybe next time. For every donation the drivers are actually able to pick up, meaning if the people leave the donations out for them, then I get a commission off that which I’m not sure how that would work or how much commission yet, believe me I’ll make sure someone lets me know on Friday. And plus I get an hourly rate between $8-12, I’m not sure what my rate will be because they start you out at a low hourly rate and as you show experience they’ll raise you up. Well I have loads of telemarketing experience and that was actually selling something, this is donations so I should do quite well.
Yup I’m one of those annoying, pesking, bitches that will call you during your dinner or while you are trying to get your kids to bed. 😉
Good morning! So here’s the deal…I’m a failure. Pretty harsh on ones self, huh? Well that’s what a great many alcoholic women think of themselves, so they drink. Either they have been told that through out their life or for some reason they have been telling themselves that through out my life. Over the weekend for some reason that tape was playing in my head that I am a failure, and am now stuck in the failure mode for the rest of my life, with absolutely nothing I can do about it. Now we all know what a bunch of bulshit that is but my brain tells my heart and my heart tells my mind and my mind directs my feet and my feet direct me towards the beer store. So you see I was depressed, incredibly so. I’m stressed, incredibly so. And my head hurts, incredibly so. I only had two beers and that’s not what got me to thinking about what a failure I am. Not only did I buy beer, which by the way was crappy beer but I also bought a pack of cigarettes. I’m down on myself because this time I didn’t even go a week before I bought the damn cigarettes, I mean come on Bats give it a better go than that! So in total this bulshit try of quitting lasted me 5 & 1/2 days (I have to add the half in there, I mean it was a half day that I didn’t smoke). I don’t know what I’m going to do, I mean my house means so much to us and you would think that I would want to do whatever I could to save it, even if that meant giving up cigarettes. I don’t know, I just like to smoke, I don’t get a horrible cough nor bronchitis all the time. It’s just the damn cost! Quit taxing me on my cigarettes damn it! I know that by smoking I am this horrible role model for my children but yet I still smoke. Everyone’s always saying do it for your kids but I just…….can’t. I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Well actually right now I’m going to finish my cup of joe, get my daughter up and get both kids ready to go. My daughter has her cardiology appointment today so I guess I’m a little ummmmmmmmmmmmm bunchy.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll quit, maybe. Yay, right!
In case you don’t get it from the title, I’m in a very bad mood. I want a drink, I want a cigarette, and I want this day to end and tomorrow to begin. Okay, carry on…
The She Chronicles 