I’m going to let you into a small section of my life. It means I won’t be completely anonymous anymore but hey this chick deserves the kudos and I’m going to give it to her.
You see that chick there, in the orange shirt, settling the ball, getting ready to assist in one of the greatest goals I’ve ever seen (and yes it’s because she assisted in it), that’s my daughter. On this blog we call her Smarts. And yes she is a foot smaller than every other child that is pretty much the same age as her on that field. She’s AWESOME. This was during the spring season and her team went Undefeated the whole season. That right there is a Hokie, pride and true, completely at heart. She assisted many goals through the season, she played every position with her whole heart, except goalie. Not yet and most likely never since most people can kick the ball higher than she could reach, plus my chicky is scared she’ll be hit in the face so I’m not pushing her on it.
Seriously, this kid is awesome. She puts her heart and soul into everything, EVERYTHING. Okay except cleaning her room, that never happens. BUT I can take that with a grain of salt since she literally lives from her soul, she lives and understands life. I want to be her when I grow up, I want to love life like she does.
I received a call VERY early this morning that my job is in jeopardy. You’ll have to pardon me for being very vague at this point about it because I’ve been instructed not to discuss it and even though I’m anonymous online, I can not take the chance that someone run by this and make it that much worst for me.
We always listen to the jobs report and when it’s bad, that’s straight forward to us and although crushing, we pretty much expect it at this point in the game with the American economy. However when we pay attention to it and the numbers look good, or at least not horrible and they represent that we added jobs, we tend to not think that with every job added, someones was taken away.
It’s very hard to explain what my job is so I won’t try but what I will tell you is that if the company feels your job isn’t worth the amount you get paid, then there is no room for negotiation and you pretty much are shit out of luck.
I was told this morning that I probably am shit out of luck.
I often think to my self, “Bats, imagine what you could do if you had confidence in yourself?” I mean seriously if I had confidence and not the liquid kind, I would be so much more than what I am now. I hold myself back in every way possible because I lack just confidence in myself.
One of my top fears is public speaking. I’m actually terrified to the point of hiding in a bathroom or closet because of it. Seriously. I need to take a business course at a local college but I’m currently postponing signing up for it because I know that they will make me do Power Point presentations and I have nightmares about it and work myself up into a frenzy (panic) that I just can not speak up in front of a group of people, no matter how small. I know, I know, I’m being stupid, I’m being ridiculous, I’m being scared little kid about this. I’m letting my fear run and ruin my life. If I take this course it could mean I make more money, it could mean I get more out of what I guess is consider my career but yet I just can not overcome this….fear, this….confidence problem. But yet I HAVE to take this course, sober.
Do you have a fear that you feel is ruining your life? Are you trying to overcome it? How ? Or how will you try to overcome it?