Jon & Kate, The Best Marketing Ploy Ever!

Just wanted to mention really quick that this morning, I am feeling better.  There’s a trend though, by 2pm I’ll be a mess and then by 6pm, a train wreck.  Enough of that for now though, I don’t feel like complaining about my never ending emotional debacle.  Maybe later though.

So I’m sitting here last night, reading, watching tv and fidgeting.  All of a sudden a preview come on talking about how Jon & Kate plus 8’s new season start Monday and of course they’ve been announcing this for about 3 weeks anyway so I’m thinking, I know already.  Then my thoughts head in the direction of “these ppl can not be serious that they are still trying to pull this show off!”  I’ve watched the show and honestly in the beginning I was in awe of this family.  I mean crud a Mom and Dad with that many kids and almost all of them the same age and the age of them at that!  But I wasn’t one to tune in all the time and no I’ve never bought Kate’s books.  So then the scandels start and honestly I couldn’t believe they didn’t start sooner but I have to tell you their scandels out rank Brittany Spears and her Bipolar disorder debacle.  Atleast we knew Brittany was out of her mind and she wasn’t pretending to be something that she obviously is not.  So this brings me to my opinion, well actually first a question…it’s always looked to me that Jon has never enjoyed being interviewed and broadcasted on television so why the hell didn’t he just say “screw this, I’m not having any fun so I’m done!”  I know Kate is overly aggressive and pushy but jeesh man get a back bone, and do what YOU want when it comes to terms as this.  And now then this is when an opinion of mine comes in…How is it this show and everything that Kate ‘does’ is for the children?  I mean come on, do you really want me to believe that these kids required their parents to be placed on a show, broadcast their lives, accept hundreds of thousands of dollars in gifts and make a few million in the process?  Don’t you think that her kids would love for their Mom and Dad to just go to the park for a picnic and NOT argue once?  I personally am appalled by how much they argue in front of the kids and the camera.  And that takes me to a thought that maybe it was all a ratings ploy this whole time, the more they argue the more we tune in, the more we tune in, the more money they make.  AND now with rumors of sexual scandel, you best bet we are all going to watch the season opener on Monday.  Yes, including me.  Sigh…sometimes I can’t help being pulled into commotion.  But I know there is going to be no talk about their personal life other than how Jon screwed something up.  So that’s where I stand at the moment, it’s a huge marketing ploy for the show, their items they sell and their new book and I don’t believe that NOW this is all for the children, at all.

Extra Cullicular Activity for ME!

I’ve been frustrated lately with our economic situation so I started doing job searching online and in person which lead me to being even more frustrated.  Being a SAHM for the past eight years has left me with no job training or any room for advancement.  Before I was a SAHM, I worked for a termite insurance company and I actually loved my work and it was nice pay but it was very long hours with a lot of stress involved, not as much stress as a Mom but you get the picture.  I don’t want to go back into that field although that’s what my expertise is and sadly the only other jobs here are waitress jobs and well with a son whom isn’t in school yet I would have to pay out more money for daycare to work than I would make or bring in.  So I sucked it up and signed up (today) for distant learning classes in the field that I really want to work in, Alcohol and Drug Counseling.  I am so excited!  I should receive everything in the next couple of days and with this certificate I’ll be able to get an entry level job at either a hospital detox or a residential treatment center.  It’s not too pricey either and I feel confident I can finish the work in a year which would mean my son would be starting kindergarten right after I finish.  Exciting, huh?  Now to tell my hubby about spending the money, it’s okay for him to spend money but when I do I get the fifth degree about how much and yada, yada, yada.  Who knows though, maybe he might be as excited as me.  Wish me luck.

Other than that, not much happening.  I realize I need a maid or atleast some kind of help around here because I can not do it all!  Here’s to wishing though.  I have started to put together a ‘home agenda’, which is helping me get more done and feel better about how much I do instead of feeling like a heel because I’m not June Cleaver or even Kate from Jon & Kate plus 8.  Which wouldn’t she be the June Cleaver of my era? 

I’ve also been talking with the GAP company and it looks like they are going to pay the vehicle off by May 28th but we’ll see.  They know though that if they don’t then, small claims court here we come.

Mother’s Day sucked.  My hubby was exhausted from the ‘camping trip’ so he slept all day and I had to do everything include walk to the store to get the things for my dinner and then make it.  So I have given up on Mother’s Day in this house, every year it seems I do all the work while he gets the time off, so pretty much just like every other day of the year. 

I have to go make dinner and fold some laundry, get the kids in the shower and to bed so I’m off.

Teacher’s Appreciation Week

Quick note … it seems it’s going to rain forever.  So no I haven’t been able to work in the pumpkin patch yet, lets hope it clears up sometime today.

Another quick note … laundry sucks and I’m so behind.  I know it’s raining so do the laundry but man I started reading a good book and that seems so much more stimulating then the laundry.  I hate laundry and need a laundry maid.  Heck, I just need a maid.

What am I reading?  Well I wanted to read something to go with the current times and had The Eleventh Plaque lying around.  I have been pleasantly shock that I’m enjoying it.

So today starts Teacher Appreciation Week and luckily I shot up off the couch at 8pm last night remembering my daughter needed to bring in a flower for her teacher.  Actually the lucky part was getting to the store and picking up the last single flower while a pack of Mom’s that forgot also came in behind me.  Getting home and telling my hubby, he says “You should’ve split a bouquet with them all.”  Well crud, thanks hun for taking my proud moment and spoiling it.  I never thought of that and hope they all did that.  I know I wouldn’t want to go store to store at 8pm looking for a flower.  Anyway I have a split heart when it comes to this week, don’t get me wrong I love teachers and think that they definately deserve this week.  HOWEVER my daughters teacher doesn’t impress me any.  Sure she’s learning and loves school but I have tried communicating over and over again this year with her teacher on different issues with my daughter, to no response from the teacher.  I’m kind of disappointed in that fact.  Now then my son’s speech teacher is out of this world!  So I have no qualms to do anything for her.  Does me being disappointed in my daughters teacher count with taking other peoples inventories? 

Okay I have to start sorting the mounds of laundry but wanted to stop by and say…

Hug a teacher today, they make a world of difference!

I’m not June Cleaverish

Just so you know, it’s grey and raining again.

I’ve finished the book I mentioned in my previous post, you know the one with the ridiculously long title… Waiting for Daiseyby Peggy Ornstein.  It’s about Peggy and her husband Steve’s adventure (hell) into parenthood.  The first part of the book is about her making the decision to not have a baby because of her work and not wanting to be tied down. Second half of her and Steven deciding that yes they want to be parents and her having to be disappointed again and again by miscarriages, IVF treatments, acupuncture, just plain old trying and donor eggs.  They literally go through hell trying to have a child but yet their marriage actually survives and they grow together as individuals even though at one point in the book it seems like they won’t make it and then in another part of the book it seems like their whole marriage is just about getting pregnant and they don’t even like each other.  And then the last part of the book about her getting Daisey. 

Anyway I have the habit of projecting books like this onto my life.  I never made any decisions about parenthood, it just happened.  As a matter of fact out of all the couples I know, only one of them actually made a decision to start trying to have a baby; all the rest, it just happened.  And of course the one couple whom made the decision to start trying, had problems conceiving.  But back to me ;).  I never even started thinking about anything.  I had my career and I was a full blown alcoholic, it just never occurred to us that we needed to make a decision or do anything.  My days consisted of working 12 – 16 hours and then drinking 12 hours.  When we found out about my daughter, it was like the air in the room became heavy and we had to grow up in one evening but I couldn’t do it.  I was terrified and I drank, I had problems and I drank, I made life for us hell and I drank.  Then it came time for my doctor to put an end to all the hell I was putting my unborn baby through, she ordered me into the hospital and there I sat for 3 weeks before I HAD to have her.  I made it all a nightmare.  After waking up after having a c-section, my husband looked me in the eye and said (and I’ll never forget the words or the comfort on his face), “She’s perfect.”  We had feared because of my drinking, how she would be when born.  It kept us up at night and cause vivid nightmares for both of us.

But this was about the decisions to get to wanting to be a parent.  I wonder how much different my life would be now if we had actually did the responsible thing and talked about and made decisions about our future.  I can say that if we had back then, I would’ve said to wait a very loooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggg time. Not because of not wanting a child but because of wanting to drink more than anything else in my life.  Do I feel tied down?  Yes, absolutely.  Do I feel my life is not my own?  Yes, absolutely.  Do I wish sometimes that my life turned out different?  Yes, absolutely.  Would I go back in time and change all of this?  Yes, absolutely but not in the way it sounds.  I would change the fact that I threw all of this time away with alcohol, not savoring the pregnancy or the little milestones, just caring about my alcohol and nothing or anybody else.  Most times I am very happy being a stay at home mom (SAHM) but I can admit that sometimes I feel a bit trapped and claustrophobic. 

My daughter is now 7 and my son is now 3.  She is my knowledge seeker and he is my comedian.  I love them both more than anything else in the world and I can say they are my life, my heart and my soul.  I see true peace and laughter in their eyes everyday. 

I do however need to embrace motherhood and staying at home more.  For some reason I have it in my head that I need to be like June Cleaver, you know everything perfectly cleaned, cooked and washed.  I am far from June Cleaver.  As I sit here now typing all of this, I look around and see that the basement which is also the TV and playroom needs to be dusted, vacuumed and sorted through.  The next level up which is the kitchen, dining and living rooms needs to be dusted, vacuumed and just plain cleaned and sorted through.  There is also a coat closet on that level that I don’t  even think any of the coats are on hangers and are just shoved in there.  And finally the third level which is bathrooms, and bedrooms.  Once again that level needs cleaning except the bathrooms because I just cleaned them 2 days ago.  Oh and then the laundry!  LOL  Actually it really isn’t that funny how behind I am with that.  So pretty much we all live in disordered chaos (kind of like my bipolarized brain) and I should try more to be a better housekeeper, but I just see so many other things to do during the day like puzzles, scrabble, reading, color books, scissors, crayons, tickling, laughing, smiling and loving.  I think I should beable to do all of that but by the end of each day, it seems I am more behind than the day before and now it’s just impossible to even remotely catch up. 

Sitting here thinking about all of this for a few minutes and the only thing I can come to a conclusion about is that I certainly am no June Cleaver and am not sure I want to be one.  Am I ruining all of our lives by being like this though?  I don’t know. I’ll have to decompose about this more.