Happy F~ing New Year!

Jeesh…I’ve been trying forever now to get onto my dinosaur ThinkPad, to do anything, write, read, check email, ect…  I think I have it so I can do some basic things today so finally I can post something here.

Working on a New Year’s survival post has proven tougher for me than I thought.  Lets face it, if you are newly sober or even have many months or years sober it’s still a rough time to try to enjoy the season.  The New Year always proves to be a beast to us.  I’m not a New Years Resolution kinda gal myself, it sets me up for failure and failure does what for me?  Yup, gives me a reason to say fuck it and get drunk.  Matter of fact I think I try to fail just to give myself that excuse to partake in my evil sinister plan of pounding down alcohol like it’s all going to be gone tomorrow.

Let’s see, what is it I do to stay sober for the New Year? 

Well I don’t do New Years parties, it gives me a perfect time to drink because I think no one can see me or cares what I do. 

I include my kids in whatever festivities I do partake in, even watching whatever falls out of the sky at midnight.  When they’re around it’s hard for me to drink especially since my daughter knows that if I drink, life as we know it will go back to Mom being drunk and blacked out for the next two years.

And pretty much what I’ve learned is that there is no reason to expect too much from myself.  I stop making demands of myself that are unreasonable for this time of the year. 

I eat a heck of a lot of cookies.  Seriously, a heck of a lot.  I don’t recommend a diabetic to come to my house because just walking in your blood sugar will rise.

And pretty much that’s it.  New Year’s is just like every other day of the year, there’s still only 24 hours in the day.  Look we all stay sober, minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day.  And that’s it.

Wait one more thing…

Statistics have gone up in the past few years…please don’t kill or maim yourself or others by being stupid and driving drunk!  PLEASE!

There’s Nothing Simple About Bipolarized Alcoholism

Good Morning.  Obviously I haven’t been around in almost a year.  For that I must apologize, it was mainly for selfish reasons such as ‘life was kicking me in my butt’.   Bipolar wise, I’m okay.  Alcoholic wise, again I’m okay.  I have 17 months sober and even though life pretty much seems unbearable at times, I’m sober and not manic.  So what else could I ask for in life?

So what’s been shaking?  I no longer  live in the same state as before I became MIA, we had to decide on a geographical fix since the economy gave us the biggest wedgie of our lives.  So we lost our house, 401K  is gone, no jobs, ect. ect. ect.  So pretty much we are in the same boat as a hell of a lot of families in this grand country of freedom and dreams.  Before I get political on the recession I’ll have to stop myself there although I know everyone loves the dynamics of politics, I’m just not in the mood for it.

We are what? 11 days until Christmas and I just want a fucking drink, I just want to sleep into blackout land but I’m not able to; there are just way too many reasons why that would be the worst decision of my life.  That’s the way I stay sober around this time of the year, I think the drink ALL THE WAY THROUGH.  There is no such thing as one or two hot totties in my line of work called alcoholism.  I don’t know why it is I’ve be blessed with this bulshit in my brain, my soul and life, and quite honestly I’m pissed and think it’s shitty that I have to deal with it but I don’t have any other choice so I just keep carrying on in my bipolarized, alcoholic world.

The She Chronicles has a sticky on the front page about information regarding getting through the holidays at this time of the year and I need to work on a new post about New Year’s Eve, so be looking for that really soon.  I look forward to getting back on the saddle with Chronicles and can always promise you that although normal it’s never a relaxing ride.

Thankful For You

I just wanted to let all of you know that I am so thankful that you are in my life.  I am thankful for all the days you have helped me to process what is happening in my days and definately so grateful for the suggestions that help me in my life each day.  Thank you for all the pats on the backs and the moments you spend here just to read, the time you take to read my life.  I am thankful to all of you that help make me comfortable here, for someone that isn’t always comfortable in their own skin, it’s huge to have such a safe place to come each day and know that what I might find here isn’t going to make me feel guilty or ugly in anyway.  Thank you for helping me see that I am good, not a horrible person.  Thank you to all the readers out there whom haven’t commented yet, but thank you for reading and doing it on a daily basis.  Just knowing you all are out there reading, helps me in a huge way to keep going with this blog.  Happy Thanksgiving to ALL of you!

Hug A Vet Today

Today is obviously our day to honor those whom protect us and our Old Glory’s freedom.  Today we bow our heads for those brave soldiers whom have given the ultimate price so we remain a free country, so we can have “The American Dream” in our lives everyday, so we don’t have to feel fear when we go to sleep at night or awake in the morning.

I have a Veteran that has been in my life from the time I was born.  He taught me respect for our Flag, Arlington National Cemetery, our Armed Forces, and most of all Freedom.  He served two tours of duty in Vietnam and has never once asked for anything in return for it,  “Sweetie, I did it because it needed to be done,”  was his reply when I asked why he would go to war and possibly sacrifice his own life.  He brought back many memories from Vietnam and I am proud that he has shared some of those memories with me, I am proud that he ‘did what needed to be done’ for me, my children; for you, and your children.  I love and respect America because he taught that respect to me and always told me to hold that love close to my heart because there is no other place in the world as beautiful, gracious, noble as this country.

I love you, Dad!  You have and always will be my Hero.