Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Have I mentioned my mother lied about having cancer on her gall bladder?


You know you would think that after 38 years shit like this wouldn’t surprise me but yet every single time it does.

12 thoughts on “Liar Liar Pants On Fire

  1. Lied? As in … doesn’t have cancer lied!? Because that’s one of the most pathetic stunts a person could pull — especially on their own family. Classic manipulative parent, feigning illness to get attention and sympathy. I’m so sorry. (((hugz)))

  2. Yo momma = c u next Tuesday, no?

    I seriously just heavy-exhaled on your behalf (saw you post on FB — you liked one of my posts just now– and realized I never checked back in with you re: things).

    I’m so sorry. It’s so hard to have people who should love and care for you let you down in such a profound way. And yet, they do, and we have to live with it. I get how that feels, so much.

    But, fuck her. Just fuck her.

    I deal with this with my dad (not manipulative in this kind of messed up way, but so avoidant and unable to deal with emotions that he cuts off all his family members and saves what bits of an emotional life he has in support of complete strangers. The only one left who interacts with him is my sister, but he has cut off his brother and sister, his 94 year old mom — he just can’t deal with shit so he avoids it all by not engaging with anyone he’s actually related to, but then doles out love and affection to people he practically does not know. Equally as fucked up, just not narcissistic and histrionic). I have not spoken to him in five years. And honestly? I am just done with him. He can go fuck himself. I plan to not talk to him, until such time that he is on his deathbed from Parkinson’s (and I might need for myself to put closure to him and say a good-bye) or until he pulls his head out of his ass, whichever comes first. I’m not holding my breath for the second option.

    But yeah, we hope that parents can be good and loving parents, husbands can be good and loving husbands, wives can be good and loving wives, friends can be good and loving friends. But some people are just not cut out for the job, and never will be.

    Fuck them.

    I wish you had a mom that could be more there for you and less about her being so messed up she has to LIE ABOUT FUCKING CANCER! o.O Jeebus. All I can say is it is good you are being loving to your own children, and not doing to them what she has done to you. (Or, it is further encouragement to never do that to them.)

    And then as I have had to do, you find surrogate parents in your “Lilo and Stitch” family of your own making, people who help fill the hole that she leaves behind.

    I am so sorry, Bats.
    Hugs to you from D-Town.
    Celeste E. Hall (and yet again I need a new “handle” here, lol. I don’t know if it can be changed once more — I think I need a new account…)

  3. “But yeah, we hope that parents can be good and loving parents, husbands can be good and loving husbands, wives can be good and loving wives, friends can be good and loving friends. But some people are just not cut out for the job, and never will be.”

    And you don’t need a new account or change your handle, you are just fine.

  4. Sounds like you have a mom like I did. Not giving her an escape but obviously she is not balanced correctly. My mom was manic depressive and growing up in the 70-80’s did not help, she couldn’t match Mrs. Brady and was treated medically very barbaric. She did some crazy shit and never had to take responsibility for it. I thought very young this was brilliant but learned later this was manipulation. She would hide my uniform, my dads mail etc just to watch us all go nuts and that is the light end of things she did…she would be up for six months or literally in bed or hiding for 6 months. I used to blame my shit on her but realized over the years that she was who she was, decent or not, mean or not, trusting or not, balanced or unbalanced. I was 100% with her in her last days to be on her team as messed up as I was she was worse inside. I now know that what the perfect loving mom is doesn’t exist anywhere it’s all perception, we all love they way we love and sometimes its good enough for the receiver and sometimes it is not. We have to chose which way we want to receive. Being around people like our mom’s is difficult, embarrassing but you can’t set yourself up with these types. Its life we all are fucked up in one way or another. Some of my siblings learned that very early and distanced themselves almost 100% from her to avoid the “pain”, I stayed in the game to manage the bullshit. You are not her. No shame in wanting to believe her. In the end when she is no longer here you will reap the benefit of wanting to believe her I promise, it is a good thing the way you feel. Don’t give people who you think have it better than you too much credit, they don’t need it…give it to the ones who you know are more messed up than you. Rock on.

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