Monday, Wednesday, and Friday

Yup.  Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  That seems to be the sentence.  I go to meetings that last three hours long and by the first hour I’m pretty much humbled beyond humbled.  The county I reside in to get mental health help has said in order to seek out help (which I still have to wait until March 29th to see a doctor) I have to go to SAIOP (Substance Abuse Intensive Outpatient Participation).  I’m humbled because there are twenty people there including me, I’m the only one not homeless.  I was asked by someone in the group, “Seriously, what do you have to be anxious enough or panicked enough to want to drink over?”

So damn true.  Compared to everyone else there…so damn true.

I am humbled.

But yet I still have a life-threatening illness.

Sigh.  I needed to come here even though I’ve been told by the counselor that this is not the right place to be.

I’m glad I have this place and I am sorry that my rock bottom isn’t as dramatic as others but it is my rock bottom.

My name is Bats and I am an alcoholic and bipolar woman.

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7 thoughts on “Monday, Wednesday, and Friday

  1. i’ve met people with higher bottoms than me and some with lower bottoms, but the important thing is to be with other people who want what you want and to do what you need to get better.

  2. They tell it you it’s not the right place to be and yet they require you to be there? For three-hour meetings three time a week? And they call that help? Your strength and determination in dealing with our broken system is remarkable. Stay strong. (((hugs))))

  3. You just said everything absolutely beautifully here:

    I’m glad I have this place and I am sorry that my rock bottom isn’t as dramatic as others but it is my rock bottom.

    My name is Bats and I am an alcoholic and bipolar woman.

    Yes. It’s yours, and for you, and all that matters is that you have found a place to keep yourself on an even keel in this moment. Super huge hugs to you!
    xx
    Celeste

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