Hugs going out to Mak. I KNOW just what he’s going through right now.

I Want Ice Water!

A funny thing about depression is that, as dark and lonely as it is, the fear of sounding crazy to, or breaking down in front of, another person just makes me want to withdraw from the world even farther than I already have. And when I do have to face someone in that state, those fears drive me to tell shameful lies to cover just how dark my thoughts have become.

But worst of all is feeling like some alien thing, whose thoughts, feelings, and loves, have no meaning to anyone else in the world. For example, the following is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard, and so perfectly expresses what I feel inside. And yet, even as I prepare to post it, in my heart I expect… Absolutely… Nothing…

Sorry, comments are disabled for this one. I’m just not in the mood to…

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8 thoughts on “

  1. Pingback: Who Are You Now? | I Want Ice Water

  2. what a beautiful song! I think those of us who suffer from some time of mental illness learn to become good liars because people who turn away from us if we actually told them how we were truly feeling. So we tell them we’re “fine” or feeling a little “blue” today – we do so much to minimize the devastation we’re feeling inside to make ourselves acceptable in the “normal” world.

    • Yup. Think about how many times someone has asked us how are you today and we’ve replied fine knowing damn well we want to crawl out of our skin or are screaming in our heads.

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