Keep It Simple Saturday

I’ve had a fad of a few weeks.

First off, I just finished the Fifty Shades of Grey helltry.  Why did I read it?  Because I wanted to keep up with the Jones’ and well it seemed every other woman out there was reading the damn books so a friend of mine let me borrow her Kindle (now that’s a friend) and I started on them 2 weeks ago.  Mommy Porn?  Naw, just a very long drawn out no nonsense book that I have issues with.  Bad writing, although by the end of the third book the author got better at writing.  Good plot, seriously it did have a plot and it was a good one but you didn’t really get the jist of it until part way through the second book.  Using the same words and sentences over and over again.  Look if you can say ‘kinky fuckery’ you better be able to say the word vagina and this author couldn’t seem to do that at all.  Say it with me people vaGIna, it’s okay to say it but this author decided to call it ‘a sex’.  Sigh.  She really could’ve cut these three books down into one but then again she wouldn’t have made 20 million dollars in one month so we had to endure 3 books of sex six times a day.  I found myself by the end of the first book just clicking next on the Kindle to get past the ‘I can have an orgasm every time I have sex with this man just by him blowing on my nipple and saying my name’ parts of the book.

Now who do I envision Christian Grey to be (which in all honesty this is the point of this post, I just wanted to share this video because it’s hot and I needed an excuse), this guy right here:

You’re welcome ladies (and gentlemen).  Coincidentally I also envision Guap like this except he’s hitching his leg up on a unicorn and singing merrily.

Oh I also saw Magic Mike.  I don’t recall a plot or dialog in that movie but do recall Matthew McConaughey and well…

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19 thoughts on “Keep It Simple Saturday

  1. Guuuuhhhhhhhhh…at the office I’m stuck between two middle-age hens and an almost-elderly queen who keep clucking away about 50 Shades non-stop, but of course, only in the most vague office-friendly tones. It’s enough to make me want to grab a spork and start popping away at a vein.

  2. I guess I’m the only woman alive who hasn’t read the book(s). Doesn’t sound that great, other than satisfying curiosity about what everyone else is reading.

    • Exactly. I had to know what all the buzz was about well that and all these women in my neighborhood said it would make sex better just by reading it well…that didn’t work.

  3. Ha! You could not have picked a better commercial, what with London’s Famous Giant Penis (or whatever that bullet-shaped skyscraper is called) featuring so heavily in the first few seconds!

    I haven’t read the book either, and judging from your review, I think I’ll wait until I can get the movie on Netflix. Hopefully they will have cast your Mr. Cavill, so at least the drivel will be mitigated by visual appeal.

    • You know this lady made more money in one month than some of the best writers have made in their whole careers. It’s annoying but that’s how fads work I guess.

  4. I stumbled through Target by accident last week (long story) and came across multiple copies of this book. I picked one up and scanned a few pages. The writing came across as rather simple. They were sequences of words set in standard patterns, each one ending in a period and beginning with a capital letter. Each one seemed to have a subject and a verb, often ending in a noun or an adjective, but occasionally with a preposition. Sometimes there was an indent.

    I just don’t have time for that kind of writing.

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