What’s In YOUR Glass?

What's in YOUR Glass?

I’m not sure I’m understanding why what is in my glass is how people rate me.  If I have coke in my glass what makes me less likely to be an okay friend?  What about having alcohol in my glass makes me a better person to hang out with?

Where is Bats going with this?  Well I’m absolutely sick and tired of people walking up to me and saying, “We didn’t invite you because we didn’t think you’d want to come because you don’t drink.”  My immediate answer goes a little like this, “Who said I don’t drink?  I never said it.  What because when you ask me if I want a beer, I decline it.”  In truth I don’t drink.  I also don’t want people to think that just because I prefer Coke or Coffee over alcohol that doesn’t make me a person of interest.  I don’t understand why I am less than because of what’s in my cup.

I don’t understand why society rates me by what’s in my glass.

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12 thoughts on “What’s In YOUR Glass?

  1. I have a close family member who, in the last few years, has gone to AA for salvation of sorts. She and I really don’t speak much now, which is odd because I hardly drink and am really happy that she has figured out a better way of living her life. I’m always confused at how we went from super close to near strangers with only her “non drinking” being a major change in the situation. But I imagine somewhere along the line the fact that I haven’t banned alcohol from my life makes me fall short of what she needs from me. I don’t get it. I drink about 6 times a year and usually 4 out of the 6 are occasions where I only have one to two drinks. And recently, being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, I have cut that back to even less. Maybe I’ll have a beer with a large meal once in a great while, maybe. But more to your point, your question, I have witnessed people being shunned because they opt out of the drinking lifestyle. And it’s true, sadly. I know a few people who, while sober, are kind of boring. But that is FAR from the norm. So coming from the other side of your question, I find myself in the same spot. Why does it matter what I’m drinking? Other than a change in behavior that makes me vastly different, why does my glass of wine or bottle of beer assign me a “value” in my family member’s book? I didn’t stop enjoying her company when she went from shots to water. I just don’t get it.

    • Trinzic…thank you for the comment. I’m with you, I just don’t get why what is in our glasses matter. Now for me, it wouldn’t be a big deal if you drank around me, atleast not anymore and if it is then yes I would opt out. When I first got sober I did opt out on a lot of social gatherings because I didn’t trust myself to not drink, maybe that’s the case for your family member; maybe your drinking makes her uncomfortable because she doesn’t trust what she’ll do.

  2. If what you’re drinking (or not drinking) has any bearing on the gathering or meaning to the acquaintance, that gathering or acquaintance is not worth your time.

  3. I decided to quit drinking last year. Thats when I realized that people that I thought were my friends, were really just wanting someone to get drunk with. They even admit they were going to come over but they were wanting to drink and ……. It’s terrrible.

  4. i am a non-drinker… in my 47 years of walking this earth, i’ve been drunk once.. and it wasn’t pretty or fun…that’s not to say that i haven’t had a drink every now and again… like maybe some Bailey’s on ice on New Years’ or a glass of wine here and there…

    i have a couple of theories as to why drinkers don’t include non-drinkers…

    1) they don’t want to be around those who are not on the same level of humor, wit, and intellect that booze encourages
    *which works out well for me because drinkers seem to find themselves extremely funny, bright, and knowledgeable about all things and it annoys the dickens outta me

    2) being around a non-drinker may or may not remind the drinker of their inability to have a good time whilst sober

    3) drinkers feel that non-drinkers are judging them

    now – i don’t care to be included in those situations… i don’t really enjoy the stupidity or the emotional fits that seem to ooze out every pour of person when intoxicated… i don’t want to be puked on, slobbered on, spilled on… and i find that i grow weary of being embarrassed for the drinker or that feeling that i must make excuses on their behalf for their behavior….

    just my two cents 🙂

  5. p.s. (because i forgot to mention this) when drinkers are presented with a person who has given up the drink, i wonder if it makes them feel a failure or inadequate in some way? maybe the drinker thinks on some level that the person who has given up the drink thinks they are better than…. the ability to give up booze, or any addiction, is one that requires a huge sense of self, great determination, courage and strength….

  6. It’s pretty rude to tell someone you did not invite them to something, in the first place.
    Just have the affair and invite whomever. Period.
    I should think, though, that it would be rude, also, and dangerous to invite a recovering alcoholic to a drinking event, and the honest truth for me, should I deliberately have such a party, would be that I would just die if I did something to make you drop your resolve and go back to alcohol.
    In fact, every time we serve alcohol in our home, we make sure everyone present is okay with it, first. Second, we offer many alterntives, such as tea, pop, and really good water, and it is clearly just a bit of wine with a meal type of thing, but if there were to be any doubt, we would forego it. We are adult enough to drink tea or water with a meal for the sake of a dear one.
    People, and especially friends, are far more important that almost anything I can think of.

  7. I’m not sure I’m understanding why what is in my glass is how people rate me… . I don’t understand why society rates me by what’s in my glass.

    I feel exactly the same way… except with me it’s pants.

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