I Want A Fucking Drink!

This post doesn’t have any cool graphics or hilarious videos.  This post is pure honesty, terrifying honesty, painful honesty.

I want a fucking drink.  I want a drink everyday of my life, every minute, every damn waking hour.  I want to not feel, not think; I want to not be.  I want to be drunk, giddy, happy; I want to be drinking.  I want my head to stop hurting just for a few hours.  I want a fucking drink.

If someone would’ve told me that at 28 months sober to the day I’d be in this much emotional pain from it, I would’ve said “No thanks” and kept drinking my damn life away.  I can not believe I am about to say what I am about to but it’s honest…

I do not want to live like this.

I want a fucking drink.

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “I Want A Fucking Drink!

  1. Hang in there…I am only 1 1/2 months sober, but I feel your pain. Being bipolar doesn’t help either when you want to drown those crazy thoughts with a bottle. What’s helped me is this blogging, exercising, and lately halloween candy! 28 months sober is a long time to give up, don’t give in.

  2. Think it through, Bats. You want this one drink now, but that will lead to 2 and then 3 and then what? A blackout? Waking up with a horrible hangover? Ashamed? The neighbors pissed off at you? A mental and spiritual hangover? Punishing yourself for weeks to come because you through away more than 2 years of sobriety on a “fuck it” urge?

    Sobriety is not always fun, but it sure beats the hell out of the alternative.

  3. Of course you know, if you have that drink, then maybe a couple more, the next day you will wake up and say “I didn’t need that fucking drink, I didn’t want that fucking drink, why the heck did I have that fucking drink? You know it is true. Find something to keep yourself busy. You can get through it.
    ….Moderation (aka alcoholicstruggle)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s