Impulsion vs. Insanity, Is It The Same Thing?

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Being Bipolar means certain aspects of yourself stick out tremendously. One of these is impulsive actions; and couple that with alcoholism, you pretty much have someone whom believes they are invincible. The award for most impulsive act to date for me has to go to when I woke up in the Bahamas, although this action didn’t really hit me until I was on my way back and had to pay the $1600 alcohol bill, yup that was just for alcohol and I was only there for 4 days. Thank heavens I still had a ticket home and my passport to get back into the states or else I would’ve been a homeless chick living in a beautiful place.
AA has a word for this, insanity. See, I hate that word, really hate it. Was it insane to go to the Bahamas and not think about anything other than alcohol, not think about my safety? Absolutely. However since I’m Bipolar I get to call it something a tad nicer, impulsive. I still suffer from impulsion and I believe I always will.  To this date and even when I have my Bipolar Disorder under control. I always have to be vigilant that I don’t fall into the impulsiveness of my disorder. That’s pretty much always been the way I’ve relapsed, just an impulsive act. One second I’m sober and the next I’m flying high, drunk and somewhere I don’t even know. I always have to tell myself to think everything through, to be mindful of my actions, even if it’s just going to the store to buy panties.
So, here’s your turn to way in; is it impulsion or insanity? Or do you feel like me and think of it as the same thing, just a nicer way to say your actions are unstable and insane?

13 thoughts on “Impulsion vs. Insanity, Is It The Same Thing?

  1. Going to the store to buy clothes is definitely sane. My opinion. I do it all the time. Only one saner thing a person could do is stay home a make clothes.

    But buying can be faster, if you don’t go right after 5:00.

    So maybe it is impulsive?


  2. Which choice is the one that explains the “fuck it” button? ‘Cause that’s always the way it is with me; one minute i’m OK and my guard and then a switch goes off and i’m off.

    The thing i’m learning in recovery is to “think it through”. If i ever am tempted to drink, i try to remind myself of the hellish places it’ll surely take me.

    Thanks for the share, babe!

  3. Personally, I think going to the Bahamas sounds like a great idea. But blowing all that money on booze instead of souvenir Bahamian panties when you had the chance … tsk, tsk. I need to teach you a thing or two about impulse shopping.

  4. I have thought of the impulsivity component of bipolar disorder many times and know it a major symptom for me. That is painfully obvious with alcohol and drugs leading to many relapses. Once I have made my mind up it is a done deal, even if the event doesn’t happen until sometime in the future, the die has been cast. Is this insanity? I’d rather call it unbalanced & balance is very important for me to live a managable life.

    • Nicely said Breeze. I do wonder if it’s the Bipolar Disorder that makes the impulsive act of relapse or if it’s my addictions? Kinda like which came first the chicken or the egg.
      Thank you so much for stopping in to share, Breeze. 🙂

  5. An interesting blog this one Bats 0711
    Do have a wickedly excellent rest of day
    and equally a wonderful evening also…

    Androgoth Xx

  6. Acting on an insane impulse and then regretting it later is, while not “perfect” by any stretch, a lot closer to “normal” than to “insane” IMHO. I suspect that a truly insane person is incapable of both resisting the impulse and of feeling regret afterwards…

    Stay safe Bats. 😀

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