Keep It Simple Saturday

I wouldn’t be able to stay on top in my life if it wasn’t for you all, thank you for supporting and helping me through the good, bad, absolutely horrid, and wonderful times.  I appreciate every last one of you.

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19 thoughts on “Keep It Simple Saturday

  1. You’re very welcome to any and all support I can offer Bats, as limited as it might be. But remember that the lion’s share of the credit belongs to you for reaching out in the first place. That is, by far, the hardest part! 😀

  2. You’re welcome, Bats.

    Actually, I had the worst trauma in my 16 months of abstention a couple days ago. I’d like to vent here, if you don’t mind, because I think you were in a similar situation a while back.

    The scene is this. I’m at work at a place where nobody has an office or a cube. Everything is done out in the open, which has its pros and cons. It’s a startup so the refrigerator is stocked with beer. Obviously, the company would go broke keeping the fridge stocked if I drank. So I’m doing them a favor right there.

    It’s 3 in the afternoon on a Wednesday and 2 of the guys I work with decide that it’s time for a beer. So they’re sitting next to me, getting their buzz on, and guess what? They need another round. So one asks old ITSB if he wants one too and before I can give my usual “No thanks” the other guy says “ITSB never or hardly drinks.” Everyone in the office hears that and the other guy says loudly “Oh, ITSB’s an alcoholic.” And the other guy says, “Nah, ITSB’s not an alcoholic; he’s just a drunk. Alcoholics go to those meetings.” All this is taking place while I’m in the midst of a tedious task and I’m boiling with rage. Another guy walked up to him and said “You know he can hear you?” And the guy responded, “Yeah, it’s part of my psychological warfare.”

    I’ve been upset about this for 3 days now. I feel like kicking the shit out of both of them. But then I think back to all the callous things I said when drunk and I feel some sympathy. On the other hand, people held me accountable for statements I made while drunk (and rightly so — it’s not an excuse). Maybe I should just look for a new job. I can’t take much more of this. I didn’t realize how much that would hurt.

    The rational thing to do is control my emotions, monitor the situation, and if a repeat occurrence occurs, have a confrontation with the guy.

    I just can’t believe how obnoxious drunks can be.LOL

    How are you, Bats?

    • I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone say “alcoholics are those deadbeats that go to meetings.” That’s one of the stupidest things I’ve heard come out of someones mouth.
      My personal opinion and this is why a lot of AA and I don’t agree (but there is no better place to stay sober for an hour and a half than an AA meeting), just because we were obnoxious drunk assholes doesn’t mean we deserve to be treated in an obnoxious drunk asshole way. You’re sober, you’re doing your best to support yourself, you’re doing your JOB and shouldn’t have to deal with someones “psychological warfare”.
      If you can find another job where you don’t have to put up with that, then I say you go Boat!
      I’m doing alright. LOL!

      • i can’t speak about all AA meetings, but “my” meeting (a Newcomers’) is heaven. There is absolutely no “preaching”, it’s just people sharing experiences, newcomer or not, and you’re right: it is a perfect place to stay sober for 1 1/2 hours. Plus, the regulars are super cool and warm.

        i love the meeting for 2 reasons. 1: everyone on this planet is an asshole (me included) but ‘my’ AA group are totally honest people who don’t feel the need to put up illusions and pretend they’re not assholes. 2: going is a way for me to remind myself that i am an alcoholic and what the consequences would be if i started drinking again.

        Again, i can’t speak for all AA, but my Thursday newcomer’s group is the shit and i actually look forward to the meeting!

        • I’m glad you have a good group Al. I’ve been to so many meetings since I was 17 and I tell ya, I’ve been to some wacked out meetings. I love a good honest group and in my experience those are few and far between. I’ve seen a lot “old timers” who I’m not even sure were sober but would make sure at the end of the meeting to grab the new young girl in the group and let them know they are there for them which is great but it’s the way they are saying it, and I couldn’t even for the life of me explain that anywhere near to the way it happens. Also since I’m on meds, that’s a huge no no with a lot groups and I don’t believe in such nonsense; if I don’t take my meds I will surely relapse and most likely die. I’ve been lectured on that more than one time and to the point where I just want to scream at the top of my lungs “I am fucking sober!” Anyway I’m speaking only about the bad meetings but I have had good experiences also with AA, I’m gonna have to put a post together for that.

    • Harshness! Congrats on controlling your anger, Brother! As someone who used to be just that particular brand of asshole when drinking; i can tell you that ‘the one guy’ probably wasn’t trying to get up your nose but 1) wanted to goad you into having a beer with them so he didn’t feel like an alcoholic, 2) was just kidding around with an impaired sense of humor, but he thought he was being funny, 3) could be jealous of you and your performance so he’s lashing out.

      Anyway, congrats on not caving. You know that i know just how hard it is to work in a place where alcohol is part of the team spirits, so i sympathize. Keep up the good work, brother.

      • Sorry that story was unclear. There were too many ‘other guys’ in my description but I think you get the jist of it.

        No, I had no intention of caving. The urge I had to fight was the overwhelming desire to kick the shit out of both of them.

        Glad to hear you found a good group. In the final analysis, that’s more important than the ideology. Even at my SMART meetings we didn’t follow the dogma and do ABCs. We just talked it out and worked through situations.

        • Glad to hear you found a good group. In the final analysis, that’s more important than the ideology

          Exactly. I don’t think bad of AA not as a whole, the 12 steps are awesome in a way, they just don’t work for me. I don’t see the point of bringing up really horrible points in my life and making amends for them, not when I can make amends for them everyday of my life just by being sober and treating those around me with respect and treating myself with dignity.
          Your story was pretty clear to me, I hate the fact that you have to deal with people drinking at work; that makes it so hard when you’re having a bad day in the first place. But I know you Boat, you are committed and you are honoring yourself with your sobriety. Pat yourself on your back today from me. 🙂

          • i think the reason i like my group so much is there’s no pressure to find a sponsor (i still don’t have one) and there’s no pressure to work the steps (i’m still waiting to feel ready for that). As for the drugs, i don’t know what they’re stand is as it never really comes up in discussion. One person is clearly dealing with mental issues and i’m pretty sure she’s mentioned meds in passing without anyone’s panties twisting. i’m on Zooloft for the moment and i’ve been working on the don’t ask/don’t tell policy. If they found out and told me to stop, i’d refuse as none of them are doctors and don’t have the right to interfere with that shit; but i’d be very surprised if anyone in this particular group came down heavy on it. Anyway, the bottom line as one guy put it last week is that the meetings are there to help me avoid drinking and so far that’s been the way they work.

            Sorry for the blomment!

            • It’s a fabulous blomment.
              I’m with you on the sponsor, I don’t have one but the reasons are mainly I don’t trust people enough to let myself open up to anyone (alcoholism taught me that) plus the phone always seems about as heavy as an elephant.

          • This is what I’ve concluded: some people don’t feel comfortable around others until they know they know their weaknesses.

            Anyway, I was in a meeting (work meeting, not a drunky meeting) the next day and as soon as he started talking I got up and left. So I think both guys got the message; they haven’t been drinking beer at my desk since. Also, one of the guys submitted a major piece of work the next day after his little ‘party’ and it failed horribly. I was going to point out that maybe if he hadn’t been drinking at 3pm the day before it might not have happened. But he let up, so I put my machine guns away.

            Yay Coffee!

            Yeah, use the meetings to get what you need to get out of it and ignore the rest of the BS.

            More power to you both!
            -ITSB

  3. do you know what drink does to your liver it takes your life slowly have you ever seen anyone bleed their life blood and be so white have you seen someone fight so hard to breathe and stay al ive have you seen the family left behind crying and broken get help you should think of the ones around you and their lives not just your self pity and your own habit get help before its too late life is precious and you leave bad memories behind for those who care dont waste time answering stupid blogs about kids who dont know their own mind yet get help is the advice i wold give jen

    • Yes Jen I have seen and experienced all of that.

      dont waste time answering stupid blogs about kids who dont know their own mind yet

      I’m not sure who’s kids or “stupid blog” you are referring to here, care to expand?

      get help

      And what help are you referring to here? I’m sober because of the help I have received so I’m not sure what other help you might be speaking about and if there is more help out there besides counseling, detox, rehab, Woman For Sobriety, AA, and other programs then please enlighten me so I can seek that out.

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