Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Just a quick thought here before I start explaining this neighborhood.  If you manage a sales team or are a salesperson, the best book for explaining, understanding, and how to be ranked top in sales is definately by far Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Suess.  Seriously when I was working the owner of the company wanted his sales team to pick it up a notch so he had them all read this book, so I did also (at the time I had no kids) and holy canoli!  Sam I Am is the #1 salesman of all time!

Okay so why did I choose that to add to a post about this neighborhood and alcoholism?  Because man o man when women get together, well okay these women,  and there is only one person at the get together not drinking, they take it as time to hammer the hell out of that person to try this, try that, this and that, try this and that over here and over there.

So like I said in a previous post that we moved here in July last year.  We were excited about moving into a neighborhood with all the kids and the parents being same age as all of us, not to mention it’s in the second phase of construction and it being a planned community.  About a month here, we realized that even in the beginning phases it’s an incredibly cliquish neighborhood.  I don’t do well with cliques and I forgot how hard it was to try and enter any clique especially when women are involved and I also remembered I don’t particularly get along well with women.  (HA!)

There is myself and two other women whom just feel like we don’t belong but I found out yesterday that it’s not that they other two women don’t belong, they feel like I do; women are complete bitches when they want to be.  Hell atleast they get invited to all the parties and get togethers, not me though…I think I stink.  Anyway these two women which I’m going to refer to them as Rose and Pansy, and I  decided to get together, make cookies, and let our kids get all sugared up and enjoy it.  Right after I arrived, Pansy can later, so it was just Rose and I for awhile.  Anyway right after I arrived, Rose broke out the liquor, rum (Yum!).  I declined, just like I always do, “No not now, thanks though.”  She enjoyed though while I chugged down a soda, thank gawd for caffeine.  About an hour or two later the cookies, gingerbread house, and what ever other sugar items we could make, the three of us were sitting at the table; Rose with a glass of beer (good dark beer too, yum), Pansy with a bottle of wine and myself with a Dr. Pepper, the conversation turns toward me…

“You should try this beer, it’s locally brewed.”
“Naw, I’m all good.”
“Do you not drink?”
“Oh we’ll have to let you try such and such drink that we learned to make in such and such country.”
I’m pretty good at just nodding and agreeing, ya I’ve got that down pat.

Since then I’ve had to turn down beer, wine, liquor no matter whom I get together with in this neighborhood.  I sware it’s everywhere here.  Just to go to the bus stop I have to prepare myself for some kind of conversation about alcohol or somehow it’s always worked into the conversation.  It’s overwhelming and currently I am living as a hermit, recluse to just stay away from it.  I know that no matter what I will sooner or later my brain will give in, and my heart won’t mind even though it means Bats will be living in a blackout for two years after. 

I know I haven’t explained it enough but I’m just not feeling up to alcoholic conversation right now.  I’m not manic, nor depressed but just feel like I am so emotionally gone right now. 

I’ll have to continue on another day…

One thought on “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

  1. Oh Bats, I hate to read about the situation you’re in. I know how hard it is to be sober even without people shoving it in your face.

    I don’t know if you know this, but drunks can be very insensitive. (Sarcasm) It may take some time for it to sink in with them that you don’t drink. But stick to your principles and your needs and eventually they’ll come around.

    Often when I have urges or feel angry or am upset, I read this essay by a very thoughtful man: http://blog.kenperlin.com/?p=2997

    I often substitute “anger” with “drinking” when I read this. And it’s true — I’ve looked back at my 25 years of drinking and felt like an idiot for wasting my precious time on earth drunk — my time really is limited. Having a drink with your catty neighbors is not going to make anything better.

    They’re going to be catty no matter what you do. If you think it’s bad that they gossip about you not drinking, imagine the gossip if you go on one of your epic benders in front of them? Which is worse?

    Stick to your guns, and they’ll get the message that you are hangover-free — at least the ones who are worth spending your limited time on earth with will.

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