Okay, so we moved back in July, we moved into this neighborhood for the kids, schools and various other reasons; one of which the age of the people whom live here. Which pretty much means that we all are going through mid-life. I’ve met a couple women that are up my alley when it comes to intelligence and where we are in life, and it helps that our kids are pretty much the same age. Your probably thinking, “Great!” Well now it seems there is a catch…they don’t know (of course) that I’m an alcoholic and they sure as shit don’t know I’m bipolar. I sware if you say you’re bipolar people squish their nose and say “Oh.” And all I think when it happens is “Ya, that’s what I said also when I found out.” Okay so telling these ‘friends’ that I’m bipolar is way out in left field so I made the decision not to tell them at this point, however when they say, ‘lets get a ladies night going and have a couple drinks.’ My thoughts race and my whole body cringes, I don’t think they are aware of my emotional or physical reaction to this idea. Oh here’s a kicker, “Even if you don’t drink you have to try this drink that I learned to make in blank country.” I just stared at them and then decided that the best thing to do was nod my head.
I’ve never had a problem with coming up with stupid excuses for not drinking but this time seems different; I want and need to be excepted so my family and I aren’t the outcasts in the neighborhood which by the way is pretty easy to accomplish and I’m incredibly good at that.
So what do I do? I think I’m going to come up with a high fever on the night that they schedule this but I figure I can only use that excuse once, maybe twice then I would have to move on to “I think I have food poisoning” or “my doctor put me on antibiotics and alcohol screws that up.”
I feel like screaming from the roof of my house, “Yes the crazy alcoholic woman lives here! Approach at your own discretion!”
And damn it all, I just want a drink. Well not one but I think you know what I mean.