Well tomorrow is the ‘company party’ and pretty much I am in my crunch mode and well pretty much fucking losing it. I am still trying to figure out a way to not go and the only thing I can come up with is being run over by a UPS truck but then I think that’s not fair to the driver. I have spent this whole week shaking inside and now the shaking has turned into a constant tremble that won’t go away no matter what I do. I have barely slept, am grumpy as hell, and just want need silence to try and compose myself but that’s not happening anytime soon. I do understand my hubby’s feelings but I am so frustrated that he won’t look at it from my point of view and see what kind of hell this is putting me through. I need to go pace and try to breathe.