She’s Only 8!

Man, who knew this whole parent thing could be so hard? ๐Ÿ˜‰ On Wednesday it was really hot out so I decided when my daughter got home from school we would go ahead and enjoy the pool before she got started on her homework. Well she has a friend that lives a couple doors down and rides the bus with her, her same age and everything. So when we get home I announce (expecting a yay!) that it’s pool time, wait for it…the yay has to be in here somewhere…nope, no yay all I got was “but I promised her I would go over there today!” Okay so let me get this straight, you want to go to a friends house instead of playing in the pool? Yup. I take her over there and they invite her in THEIR pool. Guess whose pool she went in? No, not ours. I have to admit it hurt my feelings extremely and I cried that night on into yesterday morning. Sometimes being a Mom is no fun, painful even.

But I’m almost over it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Okay but I have a question here and I am hoping to get responses…

How much time should an 8 year old spend at a friends house, in a week?

I’ve been looking around on the web and it seems there is not one website that I have found that has an answer or opinion to this question. Okay so either that means I’m a paranoid weird mother or no one else has this problem, or well both. What’s your opinion, answer (on the question above, not on me being weird LOL!), how do you balance the time? I mean she is ONLY 8.

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6 thoughts on “She’s Only 8!

  1. Wow, that’s a toughy! Your reaction is so much like mine was (waaaaay back when) that I can really relate! For what it’s worth, here’s my advise:

    First: Don’t over-react! It only made my kids think I was nuts. ๐Ÿ™„

    Second: It’s always going to hurt when they choose something other than what you would choose for them. Try to avoid laying a guilt trip on them. It pushes them away and, again, makes you seem weird. ๐Ÿ™„

    Third: You have to be willing to judge each case independently from the others. Ask yourself whether or not these particular circumstances reflect a positive or a negative for your child in reality (not just in your mind or her mind). Maintaining the appearance of being rational and in control, again, keeps you from looking weird (and challenges them to do the same). ๐Ÿ™„

    That’s the best I’ve got. There’s a WP blog called “Free Range Kids” that talks a lot about these issues. Maybe they can do better than me. ๐Ÿ˜ Good luck

  2. Well my sister is only thirteen and we never see her, ever. So I would say that good friend time for an eight year old would be maybe three and a half hours a week. Unless youโ€™ve got something you want to do and you want her out of your hair lol. Because at that age she should still be building up her morals and those kinds of things. But then if you think sheโ€™s ready thatโ€™s your choice

  3. Hey Bats,

    Most kids prefer to hang out with their friends rather than those things called parents, but there should be limits. I raised 6 kids and at that age they wouldn’t have spent anymore than 3 – 4 hrs at a friends house a week. I asked my daughter, who’s the parent of a 6…going on 25, past the real stupid stage, but still young enough to have the attitude… yr old and she agrees.


  4. Okay, thank you all for commenting. I decided yesterday to not answer comments until today, I was hoping to get more comments considering the hits I received on this post but oh well, I trust all of you and your opinions. And you three aren’t too bashful to comment. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Mak, I absolutely try never to show my ‘maniced out episodes’ about things like this, I know if I did she’d have feelings of guilt that she has hurt me. I remember how my mom used guilt towards me many of times and still does, it’s not a nice feeling for the child. As far as positive or negative, I believe the enviroment is positive for her but by spending so much time over there I think she ends up ‘liking’ the enviroment more than here because here she’s not allowed to do what ever she chooses and can’t have caffeinated products which btw should’ve stopped over there. I think that’s the only real negative that I can think of for her being there.
    Willabe, I like what you said there ‘should still be building up her moral’ and the fact of the matter is if she’s spending most of her free time there than she’s building her morals to there stand point not ours.
    Kat, I see you and your daughter agree with Willabe on the appropriate time to spend there. and Holy Canoli! 6 of them, man and I think raising 2 is hard, LOL.
    Let me mention here that she spends so much more time than 3-4 hours there, we’re talking more like 13-15 hours a week. This is something that has been bugging me for quite some time and for some reason this is when it’s decided to come to a head in my head. Essentially I’m not ready to give my daughter to the world at 8, I actually like her and love to have her around AND I know when she is a teen time with her is going to be next to nothing.
    I feel as though another family is taking care of her, and like was mentioned is helping mold her morals and attitude. That’s not acceptable to me. Another thing that bothers me about the amount of time is that I and her little brother (he’s 4 and she’s his world) never see her. She gets up, goes to school, comes home, goes to their house, and then I get her for dinner, shower and bedtime. Again that’s not acceptable to me. I’m going to talk with my hubby and let him know that I need him to back me on this, when I talk with our daughter about it.
    Another thing that occurred to me when I was dissecting this was, doesn’t the other parents think that my daughter is there way too much? but then I realized that my daughter keeps their daughter occupied and out of their way for them to do whatever, she’s essentially their babysitter. Anyway I’ve done a lot of dissecting as you can see. Again, thank you so much for the comments and helping me find my feelings with this.

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