I’m NOT Defective

Take a  look at the defination below and image you have to call yourself that everyday…

de·fec·tive [ di féktiv ]
1. faulty: imperfect or faulty, so not functioning properly or at all
2. offensive term: an offensive term that means having learning difficulties or problems in coping with emotions ( insult )
3. grammar incomplete: lacking the usual or expected range of grammatical inflections
noun (plural de·fec·tives)
Definition: offensive term: an offensive term for somebody who has learning difficulties or problems in coping with emotions ( insult )
de·fec·tive·ly adverb
de·fec·tive·ness noun

That one word has a lot of power to it, doesn’t it?  If you were to play a tape in your mind everyday of your life, telling yourself that parts of you are defective,they don’t function properly or at all; that could really be harming to yourself as a person, woman or man, right?  That is the big reason why I don’t like the 12 Steps of AA.  In the 4th Step we are to ask god to remove all of our defects (okay I’m not going to go into the asking god for anything part here in this post, I’ll get to that later on in my blog, just not right now), and I see calling myself or any other person with the exception of rapist, mass murderers, saddam hussain, usama bin laden, ect…(you get my point on those ‘type’ of people), I see calling people and definately myself  “defective” as an insult, a horrible insult.  For some reason it just doesn’t sit well in my mind or heart.  I would never call a friend a defect so why would I call myself that?

But now isn’t there a double standard to my thinking because well I do have many addictions, many shortcomings, in a sense I don’t function properly.  Maybe though instead of not functioning properly, I function in a different light, a different way.  Who is to say what is functioning properly, maybe I am the one who functions properly and the people whom don’t have addictions or OCD, or Bipolar Disorder. ect…are the one’s that need to be asking someone to take their shortcomings away?  HEY, maybe I’m the one who is ‘normal’!  I don’t know, I just don’t think anything that requires me to insult myself is helping me in anyway.  Maybe that’s why I have never been able to do a successful 12 Steps.

I can’t wait to see what I’ll be thinking about tomorrow. :/

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28 thoughts on “I’m NOT Defective

  1. To paraphrase The Temptations a little:

    “Rap On, Sister! Rap On! Well the only person talking ’bout love – Is the preacher. And nobody’s interested in learnin’ – but the teacher.”

    As a rule, I try to limit the comparisons to those between myself and the “higher power” I know I can be. Although I have been known to wonder out loud as to whether it’s “normal” or not to be depressed while living in this world. 🙄

    BTW, I posted Rocket Man!.

  2. I didn’t know the 4th step was worded that way! That really is disappointing. I don’t think that characterizing things that way is the effective way to move people forward on their journey toward healing!

    • The 12 Steps are very HARD for me to complete because they aren’t so much as humbling but I find them to be insulting as well. I am sure that the way I read it wouldn’t be read the same way as another person. Don’t get me wrong, the steps have helped many many people get and stay sober. they are just not my cup of joe. I don’t know I often wonder if it’s because I’m a woman and the step were written by men for men. I don’t know, that’s just the way I read the 4th step, perceive it and since I find it very insulting, it’s hard for me to complete.

  3. I’ve had a lot of exposure to 12 steps and have always been hesitant about expressing reservations about a program that so many people desperately cling to. But since you’ve already expressed reservations I’ll say this:

    Besides the whole “higher power” thing, my biggest problem with the 12 steps is that it seems to teach that the only way to achieve sobriety is by learning to accept everything and expect nothing. While that may be a fine attitude to have in a world of perfect altruists, the real world that I live in is filled with people who pick apart everything I say and do, and who expect me to be “the better man” (sucker) at every turn. I can’t think of a better prescription for relapse than to be walking around as a human prey with his mouth taped shut.

    Just MHO. 🙄

  4. Now there is one option other than AA which is they offer small meetings of 10 or few people, most meetings would actually be even smaller than that, no dues, and it’s more of self empowerment then humbling. They haven’t been around since the 40’s but the founder Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick came up with it when trying to beat her own alcoholism, in the 70’s. Meetings are not as easily found but they are growing. They offer both a woman’s program and a seperate man’s program. AA shouldn’t and isn’t the only option anymore.

      • I did my searching for alternatives back before I new much about how to search on-line. I’ll have to spend a little time looking again. Funny how the links showed both time in my e-mail but not here. 🙄

        • I found WFS online about 8 years ago and AT THAT TIME it helped me emmensely (sp?) There is so much stuff out there now, that sometimes it gets overwhelming for me to look recovery groups up.
          I think WordPress is being screwy since they’re working on the admin bar and front page. I don’t know why the link didn’t show the first time since I put it in there the same way I always do links but well it’s a computer. 😉

          • I’m with you on the WP messing around thing! I kept getting timeout errors yesterday when I was trying to create a new post. the Preview, Save Draft and Publish buttons all (eventually) opened the preview page!

            I think you were wondering about your spelling. My browser underlines any word it thinks I misspelled. Doesn’t yours? I hope you don’t think I spell this well on my own! 😆

  5. OMG! I did think you spelled that well LOL
    No my browser doesn’t do that, what are you using though? I wonder if I have a button to play with to make it do that though.

    • I’m using the final release of FF2.0 on an old PIII running Win98SE. I don’t recall adding anything special, but I can right-click on an underlined word to get a list of suggestions. The list can be pretty outrageous at times, which makes me wonder if my PC has been doing drugs, but at least I’m know that I’ve made a mistake.

      Did you notice that, in my last comment, it did not catch the missed capital in “the Preview, Save Draft and Publish buttons… ?” I guess it can’t totally replace my brain, even if I sometimes wish it would! 🙄

      Man, I needed a laugh just now! My son got jumped by some random thugs in a bar last night. He’s pretty beat up. No, he’s been beaten to within an inch of his life! I’m running on only a couple hours sleep and the caffeine has got me shaking. I hope it’s the caffeine! 😐

      Just another “Psycho Saturday” I guess. And people wonder why I don’t go anywhere anymore! 👿

      • Jeesh Louise! I hope he is okay. I hope the jerks get what they have coming to them…being beaten within a centimeter of their lives. Outrageous.

        I’m using IE8, this pc I’m running XP and on the other one I’m using Vista and I have to actually hit the ABC button in my post or edit window and I don’t have that for my comments section here on wordpress. Do you have to manially put the code in for doing bold, italics or underlined in a comment?

        • Apparently there was such a meelee that no one is sure exactly what happened. From what I’ve gathered, it started with 2 girls fighting and ended with one of those old western style bar brawls. The police are “reviewing the tapes” but who knows where that’ll lead!

          You’d get a laugh from the differences in “opinion” between my browser and the WP editor when it comes to my spelling. Sometimes it’s really amazing!

          I’ve never seen a blog comments section that provided an editor, but I’ve seen it on a few non-blog sites. When I’m trying to get fancy in a response, I use the “Press This” pop-up thing that comes with WP. It’s intended as an aid to producing posts on the fly, but doesn’t have everything the real editor has. That’s why I mainly use it only for comments and “What did you post…” announcements.

  6. You know, so many of the crazy things in my life have happened on the weekend that I could start a whole new section! Hmmm! 😐

    Good point about the title search! Of course, the search thingy built into my current them sucks so bad anyway. My last theme worked much better, but I know I switched for a reason… 🙄

    • Section idea! That’s a good one.
      I still haven’t found any theme that I like. I keep hoping they’ll bring more out but it seems to be a very sloooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww process.

      • The limitations of the existing themes is soooo frustrating. Have you seen the backflips I’ve jumped through lately? And every time I switch themes to get the bennies it offers, I discover that I lose something in the switch! Argh! 😡

        I’m hearing some good things about the new iNove theme (and some complaints), but I’m not sure I’m ready for whatever “fixes” I’ll have to do to get it right.

        What would be nice is a way to maintain the current site for my readers while working on a copy that can be put in place once I’m satisfied. What’s that? Is that Aerosmith’s Dream On that I hear? :mrgreen:

  7. Wait can you do a ‘testing blog’, practice blog per say? Just don’t give it a good domain name. Oh wait but that won’t work because all of your current publishings are on your real blog.
    I dunno about the inove, I don’t like the black header, seems plain to me.

  8. I was commenting back and forth in a new friends thread today who uses the new theme. Apparently it has a special section for adding descriptive text and image(s). She added my header to it for a minute so I could see how it looked. It was cool, although it didn’t go from side to side and only showed (I think) on the main blog page. It certainly make the theme more tempting.

    I’m sure she’s taken the image down again, but the text she normally keeps there is very easy to see. Besides, I think you’ll like her. The post with the thread is at The Functioning Alcoholic – Funny

  9. On my screen her search bar is at the right end of the long white navigation bar, which is under the full width black header bar with the blog name on the left and her gravatar on the right. Looks good to me.

    On the other hand, did you change how these comments are displayed? Or is my mind playing tricks?

  10. Ok I meant the left side of the nav. bar not the search bar. That nav. bar on the left side is half way over her blog name in my screen. Hmmmmmm. I’ll have to figure that out with my browser.

    Yes I changed, my comments kept getting skinnier and it was irking my brain.

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