Take a look at the defination below and image you have to call yourself that everyday…
de·fec·tive [ di féktiv ]
1. faulty: imperfect or faulty, so not functioning properly or at all
2. offensive term: an offensive term that means having learning difficulties or problems in coping with emotions ( insult )
3. grammar incomplete: lacking the usual or expected range of grammatical inflections
noun (plural de·fec·tives)
Definition: offensive term: an offensive term for somebody who has learning difficulties or problems in coping with emotions ( insult )
That one word has a lot of power to it, doesn’t it? If you were to play a tape in your mind everyday of your life, telling yourself that parts of you are defective,they don’t function properly or at all; that could really be harming to yourself as a person, woman or man, right? That is the big reason why I don’t like the 12 Steps of AA. In the 4th Step we are to ask god to remove all of our defects (okay I’m not going to go into the asking god for anything part here in this post, I’ll get to that later on in my blog, just not right now), and I see calling myself or any other person with the exception of rapist, mass murderers, saddam hussain, usama bin laden, ect…(you get my point on those ‘type’ of people), I see calling people and definately myself “defective” as an insult, a horrible insult. For some reason it just doesn’t sit well in my mind or heart. I would never call a friend a defect so why would I call myself that?
But now isn’t there a double standard to my thinking because well I do have many addictions, many shortcomings, in a sense I don’t function properly. Maybe though instead of not functioning properly, I function in a different light, a different way. Who is to say what is functioning properly, maybe I am the one who functions properly and the people whom don’t have addictions or OCD, or Bipolar Disorder. ect…are the one’s that need to be asking someone to take their shortcomings away? HEY, maybe I’m the one who is ‘normal’! I don’t know, I just don’t think anything that requires me to insult myself is helping me in anyway. Maybe that’s why I have never been able to do a successful 12 Steps.
I can’t wait to see what I’ll be thinking about tomorrow.