I just can not think of anything to say this morning. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t sleep well, the sun shining through this window is blinding me, I’ve got brain cramps or I just live and breath a very boring life. Just took a glance at my school book so an update on that is what you’ll get. 🙂
Right now I’m studying about the Peripheral Nervous System. There’s two parts to it; the somatic and the autonomic systems. Yup that’s what I’m learning right now, pretty boring stuff and I just want to get past this part into alcoholism and addiction but it’s taking me forever to get through the boring parts. Sometimes I’m thinking I’m in over my head and I just can’t do this, I’m just not smart enough to do this and then other times I’m thinking that who’s going to want a bipolar, alcoholic working with them on their alcoholism or addiction? Then other times I’m thinking I can do this, I’ve wanted to do this for half my life and who better to help those with alcoholism and addiction then an alcoholic, addict. I still have a long way to go and a lot of mixed feelings about myself over this.
Other than that I think I’ve woken up in a horrible mood. Life just seems like blah right now. The bills are past due and I can’t find a job. I keep thinking I never should’ve became a stay at home Mom because now I have no experience nor training in any field plus there are no jobs around here right now. I live in a town that doesn’t have fast food restrauants or a store like Walmart and all the luncheins are family owned and family worked so there’s no small jobs for us to fall back on. Sigh…but I have enjoyed being at home with my kids, I’ve been lucky up to this point not all Mom’s get to enjoy their kids like I have. Of course not all Mom’s want to enjoy the benefits of staying at home either. When I first became a stay at home Mom a little over 8 years ago, it took me a long time to get used to it and some days I have a hard time thinking, ‘this IS my job.’ But alas when the bills are so far behind, money has to come in somewhere and it’s not coming in anywhere.
So, so far today that’s about all that has gone through my brain. I need a refill on joe, go water my pumpkin plants, and maybe take shower.