Routine is Jive

For The National Blogging Month of July, the theme is Routine so I thought I should atleast do one entry about it.  I’ve talked before about routine and actually just recently.  In this Bipolar, Alcoholic’s life there is no such thing, it always gets befuddled somewhere along the way usually within the first 5 minutes of it.  Somehow it just doesn’t work, somehow along the way I get redirected to something, anything that makes more sense at the time but in the end makes absolutely no sense.  It’s actually very exhausting for me to committ to a routine or even just try a routine. 

With two small kids this creates somewhat of a problem.  My daughter who is 8 is actually pretty used to and enjoys the lifestyle of just taking everything by the seat of out pants and just living life as it comes at us, but my son who is just about 4 needs a routine, he craves it and anything that throws him off ends up confusing him and making him uncomfortable and he doesn’t know just how to react at this. 

My husband has his own little routine that supports only him and not anything else in life.  His routine is pretty simple.  The weekends are the time to mow the lawn and clean the pool.  The rest of the time he’s welcome to get up as he pleases and go about his days as he sees fit.  He eats when he’s hungry and showers when it’s appropriate.

For me the only routine I can come up with is when I have my coffee, morning time.  Other than that I just am unable to stick to any type of routine.  I wake and on that day while drinking my coffee, I decide what I’ll take on.  Normally in the middle of taking whatever that is on, I get directed towards another path so end up going that way for awhile and well that process repeats it’s self throughout the day, everyday.  It’s enhausting. ” Why don’t you do what everyone else in life does, Bats?  Just stick with it.”  Because it would be even more exhausting to not pay attention to the diversion tactics then to stay on the right course, the ‘projects’ would keep itching into my brain until they drove me completely insane and I wouldn’t beable to do anything at all.

Today I have planned cleaning (a thorough cleaning) of the living room and straightening the office plus an added bonus of doing some laundry.  Will I eat?  I dunno, I’m not too hungry yet.  Will I shower?  I dunno, if I have time to get to that right now.  Of course it would make more sense to start with the basics before I do any type of projects but my brain and body don’t work that.  I can not be thrown of course with the necessities, I must follow my strict rules of doing everything absent mindly, and get only one thing accomplished, instead of making sense out of my day and getting more than just vaccumming done.  I don’t want to pretend to be sane, do I?

As a side note…I have 12 days sober.

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