I’m Running a Marathon in My Mind

Excitement sometimes is an extreme feeling for me.  My study materials came in the mail so I decided to get started right away.  I felt the rush of excitement while I flipped through the imformation, stopping occassionally to read or look a bit more intently.  I started squribbling notes immediately of things I didn’t want to forget that I read or saw.  Then whipped up to find a power cord since the bushes need trimming, on my way down the stairs I grabbed a basket of laundry, threw that in and now am wiped out so thought I would sit here and think, type, figure out what should be next.  I think I’m going to go with a shower.

I just read a blog post before I started to post this about how alcoholism isn’t all about the alcohol.  How true that is!  I mean I didn’t neccessarily drink because I enjoyed the taste or even sometimes the physical effects.  I drank because I needed to numb myself from so many things; one being how I am right now…the highs and lows.  In the end though, I know that the alcohol helps make the highs too high and the lows too low.  Somewhere, somehow I lost the ability to get to that perfect feeling and then it really became out of control; meaning both the alcoholism and the bipolar disorder.

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