Zoom, Crash and Burn

Happy Monday to everyone!  This weekend was an impossible one for me.  It seems the longer I go without my medications the worst I get.  Saturday afternoon I had a major meltdown and I was thankful for my hubby to finally get home about 7pm.  As soon as he got home, I stomped up the stairs and got into bed, threw the covers over my head and didn’t come out until 10am Sunday morning and at that time I didn’t even want to but knew my hubby wouldn’t leave me alone until I did.  I just want to sleep, I just want to escape and sleeping would definately be better than the latter…drinking.  Yesterday afternoon my mind was swimming with thoughts of alcohol, taking a long calming swig from a vodka bottle to be chased with a cold beer.  I didn’t though mainly because of the work it would’ve taken to be able to do it, sadly yes that was the only reason to not drink.  But I’m sober today and plan to be, am taking it an hour at a time right now.  Unfortunately my hubby has to work so I am stuck to try and deal with all of this on my own. 

I just want this all to stop.

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